Dear dog

Dear Dog...




















I am soooo sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish tank you did not spill over; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint...

But things here at the house really are calmer now, and just to show you that there are no hard feelings between us, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.

Boobie Girdle Pants

> This only takes a minute and its fun. Please don't be a bore and ruin

> it.

> > > Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some

> > > silliness

> >to

> > > break up the day. Here is your dose... Follow the instructions to

> > > find

> > > your new name. The following in an excerpt from a children's book,



> > > "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants"

by Dave

> > > Pilkey: The Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

> > > > >

> > > Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New

> > > first name:

> > > > > a = poopsie

> > > > > b = lumpy

> > > > > c = buttercup

> > > > > d = gidget

> > > > > e = crusty

> > > > > f = greasy

> > > > > g = fluffy

> > > > > h = cheeseball

> > > > > i = chim-chim

> > > > > j = stinky

> > > > > k = flunky

> > > > > l = boobie

> > > > > m = pinky

> > > > > n = zippy

> > > > > o = goober

> > > > > p = doofus

> > > > > q = slimy

> > > > > r = loopy

> > > > > s = snotty

> > > > > t = tootie

> > > > > u = dorkey

> > > > > v = squeezit

> > > > > w = oprah

> > > > > x = skipper

> > > > > y = dinky

> > > > > z = zsa-zsa

> > > > >

> > > Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first

> > > half of

> >your

> > > new last name:

> > > > >

> > > > > a = apple

> > > > > b = toilet

> > > > > c = giggle

> > > > > d = burger

> > > > > e = girdle

> > > > > f = barf

> > > > > g = lizard

> > > > > h = waffle

> > > > > i = cootie

> > > > > j = monkey

> > > > > k = potty

> > > > > l = liver

> > > > > m = banana

> > > > > n = rhino

> > > > > o = bubble

> > > > > p = hamster

> > > > > q = toad

> > > > > r = gizzard

> > > > > s = pizza

> > > > > t = gerbil

> > > > > u = chicken

> > > > > v = pickle

> > > > > w = chuckle

> > > > > x = tofu

> > > > > y = gorilla

> > > > > z = stinker

> > > > >

> > > Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second

> > > half of

> > > your new last name:

> > > > >

> > > > > a = head

> > > > > b = mouth

> > > > > c = face

> > > > > d = nose

> > > > > e = tush

> > > > > f = breath

> > > > > g = pants

> > > > > h = shorts

> > > > > i = lips

> > > > > j = honker

> > > > > k = butt

> > > > > l = brain

> > > > > m = tushie

> > > > > n = chunks

> > > > > o = hiney

> > > > > p = biscuits

> > > > > q = toes

> > > > > r = buns

> > > > > s = fanny

> > > > > t = sniffer

> > > > > u = sprinkles

> > > > > v = kisser

> > > > > w = squirt

> > > > > x = humperdinck

> > > > > y = brains

> > > > > z = juice

Male stripper looking for a job!!

Kodak moment!!! Priceless!!

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping – Love> you!!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "“Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me"
His son replies, "Oh, THAT...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, b**ch, I'm married!!!".
Broken table - R585.26
Hot breakfast - R42.20
Red Rose bud - R35.00
Two aspirins - R8.00
Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless

But!!! I dont want to be BATMAN!!!

This is so cute don't you think

Check your resources next time on your visit

Great Female Combacks

Great Female Comebacks

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and me hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Wondered what happend to Nemo!!

Thoughts for the Day!!

Think you having a bad day!!!!

Hello Everybody!!Do you smell the weekend??

The reason I decided to open this blog is because I get so much cute jokes. So decides to open up a blog just for jokes to share it all with my blog buddies. So I hope you enjoy this blog. Hae a nice day.

SMELL THE WEEKEND.

His nose is suppose to go up and down.